Between the two of us, Trevor and I have lived and worked in Asia for nearly 50-years. This has also coincided with most of our adult years, when people tend to discover more about who they really are and more fully form as individuals. But damn, 50-years is a long amount of time to live in what was a foreign land and is now simply ‘home’. This got us reminiscing about how we’ve changed while living in Asia, mostly for the better. There have been some life-changing items, we feel we’re now better citizens of the world, and want to share some of these with you. Giddy up!

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Trevor: It’s kind of funny to realize you’ve spent nearly half of your life in a far-flung continent. I moved to Asia at 29 –to Bangkok– which became my home for most of the next two decades, until recently, really. I suppose I was fortunate to have created a ‘career’ that allowed me to live and explore multiple countries in Asia and therefore get to know a lot about life in a variety of places. I love the diversity across the region and have enjoyed finding projects that allowed me to have one foot here, one there, a finger in this and a hand in that. 

I made a pie chart of where I spent my life a few months ago. Of the nearly 18 years I called Bangkok home, I was only there around 8 years. The rest were split between Cambodia (now 7 years), Indonesia (2  years), Laos (maybe 9 months), Vietnam (2 years), Korea (another 9 months), cumulatively 2 years of month-long trips back to Hawaii, and a few holidays here and there.

Bangkok was my home for a long time. It’s the best balance of 1st and 3rd world but it was also love-hate. World-class museums and nightlife, shopping and food of every type. You can get or do almost anything you want any time of day. But certain things: dressing up all the time, especially in the rainy or hot season (which is most of the time)– the traffic, too many people, etc. 

After a while, Bangkok traffic and crowds would make me crazy, just in time for an opportunity in a neighboring country –various guidebook projects about the beaches and islands of Thailand, Cambodia, or Laos came up every other year for well over a decade. 

Each time I was away, however, I’d miss Thai food and Bangkok city life and come back for a while before the itch to get out of there arose again. It seemed that I developed a balance of coming and going from Bangkok to Bali to write a guidebook or launch Beervana distribution, then back to Bangkok for a job that kept the visa alive, and then off again, either MBA classes in Vietnam or cashing up by teaching test-prep in Korea. 

I threw myself lots of going away parties just to make sure all my friends in Bangkok knew that I had been home for a while and would be back again in 9 months or so.  

Scott: Owning a Travel Company: I really learned how to ensure a trip flows: get off one thing, on to another, linking activities seamlessly to another, making it all flow like magic. And understanding / being super realistic with the amount of time that things really take and happy accidents that could slow that plan down along the way and ignore others who disagree with my assessment.

A key is well is having reservations at spots you know you want to be / sleep in place to ensure what needs to come off does. If a partner, or you, don’t want to sleep somewhere, it really dents all those hours. Going almost anywhere takes ½ of a travel day: basically setting myself up for travel success whatever the type of trip is and resulting in the audience having their kind of best experience. I can plan a great trip – many will attest to that and it plays heavily into my personal travels, most of which have been well planned and executed.

Trevor: How quickly things change, especially (and perhaps obviously) in the ‘developing world’. Each time I lived in Bali, especially, I would notice how quickly things in Bangkok changed over the month I was away. And then, when I got back to Bali, there would be a new 7-11 or something that hadn’t been there a month earlier.

Over a longer time-span, I’d go to Koh Samui and/or Koh Phangan once a year, maybe every other year, so that I’ve been to Samui I don’t know how many times now. Let’s say a dozen over 23 years. I’d also visited in 1996, but seeing how much things change can be frightening.

That’s why I’ve chosen to stay away from Luang Prabang. Why I had been worried about such places ‘losing their mojo’ let’s say as they become more easily accessible and therefore more popular and therefore more economically prosperous and therefore in danger of some of the drawbacks of such on the experience of a place. Some places are far nicer. Siem Reap today vs Siem Reap 20 years ago? No contest. The sidewalks alone. Bike paths. It’s great here now.

Bangkok since I left five years ago? I’m not so certain. I hear all you guys complaining about the air quality there, and I don’t know if I’d like living in the city now. If we go back to LP, my friend had suggested I could be an agent for ‘good development’. I suppose I’ve always tried to do my part to be a beneficial member of the community amongst which I’ve chosen to live: volunteer work, beach cleanups, and whatnot. But we can only play a small role in steering the development of a city like Ho Chi Minh or Phnom Penh. Every time I come back to Bangkok I don’t know which train to get on because the terminal station is always new.

Scott: Doi Mae Salong: all the adventures I’ve had there, community programs (which spurred that interest), got more into dirt biking and continued to motorbike, cycling more of Thailand, hiking as well, and food a bit more on my radar. It put self-powered travel on my radar, but also the value of tertiary destinations as ones that can be more satisfying than the well-known traditional ones. I think being in the Mae Fah Luang area for so long really helped this, and I got to know very diverse hilltribe groups and a mix of people that lit up my life to travel in other areas of Asia, thinking more about where those people originally came from, struggles, unique cultural elements, and more, which have informed trips in all the areas I’ll take about and more.

Trevor: Gotta learn to go with the flow: the rules in each of these countries are a little different but there are some similarities. A largely SEA fact of life is that buses and boats leave when they leave and get there when they get there. Sure, Japan, Singapore and some more modern areas of Asia are better at this than others, but it’s more of a cultural acceptance of things not always going as planned, I guess. 

An old expat adage in Thailand is “If you’re not a patient person, Thailand will teach you to be patient, and if you are a patient person, you’ll lose your cool soon enough.” It’s largely true. Generally, however, whether it’s driving rules or a deposit that isn’t ever refundable (and therefore not a deposit), your best course of action is to put on a smile, grin and bear it. Anyway, sometimes for no reason at all, things will work out the way you expected them to in the first place, but also, maybe not. Expect the unexpected and go with the flow.  

To be honest, I still struggle with some of those things, like not being able to not get tomatoes on an Au Bon Pain sandwich. More than that, however, I think the go with the flow I’ve learned is how your economic station in life doesn’t really dictate your overall happiness. First, people with far less than I are often quite content. 

No one’s lives are perfect and being what western people would consider poor has certain challenges to be certain. But I can get along fine without all that awesome stuff available at Costco. nevermind everything on Amazon. I can see the allure of owning lots of cool stuff, but, really, we don’t need it. You don’t need to be an ascetic and shun material possessions, but the whole “Keeping up with the Joneses” seems a bit silly after spending years amongst wonderful people who often have no opportunity for frivolous luxuries. 

Scott: Out Thai the Thais: Derek van Pelt is the origin story on this one. Really is about outdoing locals in an appropriate and sincere way. Smile at them first, make it a bit brighter, say hello or something nice, let them pass first, be pleasant. You only have one chance to make a first impression. Do this wherever you are and enjoy more opportunities, open doors, invitations, and elevated experience. Banks – no running water in my hotel the other day – just smiling but that’s it – what’s the point in losing it?!

Trevor: In contrast to much of Asia, America is un-developing. So many things in Asia are so much more advanced than in America. So many people on holiday complain about “back home things are like this or that ” but in so many instances, America is either run down or old fashioned. Asia has more modern transportation, high-tech payment and communications that are far less expensive. America’s crime problem, homeless problem, road rage and mass shootings, Karens screeching at people… we don’t really have much of all this across SEA. 

Compared to Cambodia, America might still have an edge in things like Home Depot, CostCo, big convenience stuff, but when you’re splitting hairs as to whether Cambodia or the United States is a better place to live –and Cambodia might beat out the US on many accounts– you know your home country isn’t doing too well.

Scott: Nepal: I’d been to quite a few Asian countries, but when I first went to Nepal about 2005?, it really showed me somewhere different and heaps of elements that make for meaningful travel and how to do it better.

Community: so many varied people there. Literally the cross-roads of travel between two very different peoples and regions. Value of meeting varied people and conversation; having a ‘human’ moment – you really learn there that we are one species. Possibly also in that you meet a decent number of people that speak decent English even in small mountainous areas. 

Simple cooking is how it’s always been. Himalayas, cooking, curries and cakes made in tents, a dahl baht cooked over a small fire, momos, people can make incredible food anywhere so don’t be scared (even when you walk with the goat). And chai tea – colonialism made an imprint!

Simple can be the richest and best. Every person you meet in Nepal exudes happiness when needed. Life is no doubt very tough, but they sure go out of their way to smile, chat, have a conversation and share their life with you. This has even further elevated my love for meeting, smiling at, and interacting with people everywhere I go.

Highest return rate country almost in the world – way up there.

Scott: Community Programs: All of the ones I was involved in and how that’s influenced my actions now. I donated in small amounts and did community service with Cubs or such in Canada, but as an adult, living and working in Asia has put me on greater awareness of people, their struggles, their needs, where I think people are doing helpful things that I can contribute to. I’ve enjoyed personally starting (been a while) or organizing programs, but I have a few regular ones I contribute to and are on my mind. A deeper connection again to all people of the world and finding causes where 100% can get to the end user / goal.

Trevor’s novel, ArAnna, the millennium mom-and-dad super-couple who change the world, launched April 22, 2024.

Click the image below to join the adventure.

The embodiment of the all-American family, the Joneses of New Hope, Virginia stand at the fulcrum of human history. Caught at the center of an unexplainable global phenomenon, their search to solve a supernatural mystery leads them to every continent, where the lessons of traditional cultures present themselves as guideposts toward the survival of the human species -if the bonds of love are strong enough to keep their family together.

*** Exploring the crossroads of magic, science, and religion, including the power of belief, the limitations of technology, and the wisdom of indigenous cultures, ArAnna is a rom-com mystery that reimagines the American dream ***

ArAnna’s story begins this Earth Day, April 22, 2024.
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