#172 - Asian Toilet Stories - Talk Travel Asia Podcast

Everyone poops. There’s a book about it. Here in Siem Reap, Cambodia, there’s a blog that will direct you to the best nearby public toilet (which, incidentally is the preferred English word for a bathroom in Asia). Most people don’t plan their holidays around their trips to the toilet, but the experience is undoubtedly, and not always pleasantly, an unavoidable experience on every trip to Asia. Today, we’re going to share some of our experiences, offer a few tips to help you navigate the water closets of Asia, and hopefully give you a good laugh in the process.

Scott & Trevor Banter about their first surprising toilet experiences in Asia.

Trevor: First squat toilet was a bit confusing. And no running water in Laos was a stumper. But the most surprising was in 1996 – Chaing Mai – toilet massage: Lesson: Expect the unexpected!

Scott: cool Japanese toilets in 1994 or 5. He also remembers the first ladyboy to come into a man’s toilet.

Trevor: I’m not sure about the year (early 2000s) – winter in Japan – my first heated toilet seat!!! The first sign that Asian toilets were arguably better than American ones.

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Toilet on the road to Rattanakiri, Cambodia

Exotic Toilets

Scott: Tibet – Potala Palace: pristine spot – you’re in a postcard, then the toilets were nothing more than a slat in the floor with turds then dropping 50m to the stones below. Seemed very primitive. I’ve also heard stories of standing in a room with all sorts of others squatting in one giant room in Tibet and China but haven’t experienced it.

Scott: Derek van Pelt’s stone breaking and slipping in his shit – then hitting the $20 hot springs!

Trevor: Kompong Luong floating village – a charming floating village in Cambodia: floating houses, floating church, floating wedding platforms, market vendors paddling boats from house to house… charming, unique, and then there’s the toilet… floaters…

Trevor: As for China – in Yunnan there was a toilet on the side of the road we stopped – spectacular rice terrace views. But not from the inside. Just a view down the hole to the cliff face below.

Inconvenient Toilet Experiences

Scott: Kathmandu biking – stomach emergency – tiny outhouse – filled it – no water at all and a woman waiting

Scott: Spraying the toilet at the Tibet/China – Nepal border while cycling. Before this having everyone watch me poop behind a short wall and have to find my change of shorts.

Trevor: To prevent inconvenience, I don’t each much the night before or the day or traveling long distances in the developing world because there are too many inconvenient toilets, such as the literal wooden outhouse on the side of the road in Rattanakiri. Bus and train toilets are rarely better. Elbert’s first visit to Thailand. Off the bus from Surat Thani. He looked and smelled like he’d been living on the streets for weeks.

I do have a story similar to your Kathmandu story, however. My first time to Chiang Mai in 1996. I ate some spicy – greasy Thai food and my stomach was threatening eruption. I was near the south side of the moat and I didn’t see any super nearby toilet, so I decided to lay on the grass for a little while just to take some deep breaths and try to convince my stomach to settle. Sadly I lay down on a hive of red ants, who viciously attacked me. I nearly jumped into the moat, then I nearly cried. Fortunately, I didn’t shit myself. And I made a beeline back to my hotel and the relative comfort of a decent toilet.

Japanese toilet (courtesy of Wikipedia commons)

It’s Too Spicy!

Scott: Takelek – I had eaten super spicy food the night before and the 60-second countdown. Seriously. Sometimes it goes RIGHT through you.

Trevor: I carry TP sometimes and hand sanitizer simply because sometimes you gotta go NOW and there’s no TP and no soap in a lot of southeast Asian toilets.

Listen to the full episode to hear the gruesome details of these Asian toilet stories.

Going Local

Scott: All night pooping in Siem Reap in July 2022, how to make it through, sleep on a towel for an extra layer, drink lots of fluid, lime & salt water

Trevor: Yeah, sometimes you get some food poisoning in the worst of places. I got it bad in Myanmar. Inle Lake. Vomiting and diarrhea at the same time SUCKS. Rather than offer details, I’ll share my tips on Food Poisoning from a magazine article I wrote about it: I don’t remember them all but it was basically: check into a hotel above your budget – you’re not going to spend money on anything else for the few next days. Benefits: a nice clean toilet seat to rest your face on. Clean, fluffy towels to dry off after you get to your feet. Room service, etc.

Squat toilet (courtesy of Wikipedia Commons)

Other Toilet Surprises

Scott: Japan – awesome toilets but too much tech at times. A few times when the sprayer comes to the right area, I’ve had it spray outside of the toilet and across the room.

Trevor: Public toilets in Japan that are self-cleaning! So clean you could sleep in there. More surprising was the snake in the EXO bike warehouse toilet. I’ve read enough stories about snakes in toilets to check often.

Scott: getting a massage from a man in a Thai bathroom; this is fading but still exists.

Trevor: I don’t mind the massage as much as the neck cracking.

How to Use Asian Toilets

Using the bum gun
Using the bucket flush
Not putting paper down (not necessarily true anymore)
Yep, they are dirty but do your part to keep them from getting dirtier

Might want to take your pants down if it’s a number 2
Squat toilet tips?: take the pants off if you can and there’s somewhere to hang your pants (they can hang on the ground and get wet and I have heard a story of someone dropping the #2 back in their pants!

Trevor: LOL. I like the squat better in a dodgy place. Sitting on a dirty seat is gross. Just need to make sure you’re positioned correctly. And with longer legs you can’t rely on the standard footrests. As for the pants. I usually keep them on if I’m wearing shoes. But I have taken shorts off when I’m wearing flip flops – IF there’s a hook.

That’s another one. I usually have a bag with my valuables. And there isn’t often a hook to hang it. Hard to squat with a backpack on. On your lap? NOT the floor. Traveling with little hooks to hang it on the door would be smart.

Scott Tips:

Tips if you’re going to be taking a train or bus
Managing an ‘attended’ lavatory

Bring wet wipes and tissue with you at all times – hand clear too
It’s often the ‘toilet’ which can seem a bit forward for us and ‘WC’ in former British spots

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